


Wake Up

by SammyWitchy



Series: Peter, Wade, and their fabulous Adventures [3]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Don't mind me just a two am vent fic, Gen, Harley Keener is a dick, I HAVE A TON OF FEELINGS, M/M, Oops, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Shit hurts bro, Song: Wake Up (EDEN), Songfic, What Have I Done, my hand slipped, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26491492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyWitchy/pseuds/SammyWitchy
Summary: Peter is awake late at night and reminisces.
Relationships: (Past) Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Harry Osborn & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: Peter, Wade, and their fabulous Adventures [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722508
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	Wake Up

_Cause we've been driving so long_

_I can't remember how we got here_

_Or how we survived so long_

_I'm trying to run from our pride_

Peter sometimes thinks about MJ. About Harley. Usually late at night, when he’s alone, scrolling through his phone, going through photos and old messages. He has a habit of telling people about it sometimes. It’s his way of coping he supposes, as unhealthy as it may be it does help. At least a little bit. 

  
_'Til you set fire to my atmosphere_

_And I remember how I spent the twenty-third_

_Feeling six feet under_

_When I'm 30, 000 feet in the air_

Remembering everything sends a pang into his chest whenever he remembers. He almost wants to cry. He doesn’t message Harry or Ned when this happens, not all the time at least. 

He knows he should probably talk to someone about it. Wade, Ned, Harry. But he can’t bring himself to do it. He doesn’t want to be annoying, not any more then he feels all the time. It sucks, and Peter hates it, but he can’t bring it in himself to part with the messages, with the funny screenshots from conversations. Can’t bring himself to unfriend, or unfollow old accounts. 

Peter just wants to know where he went wrong.

  
_Chasing that sundown_

_So far East, I'm Westbound_

_Feeling like the edge of this world is near_

He sometimes goes through the messages, remembering better times. Thinking of the ‘what ifs’, of the things that could have happened, but never did. Conversations that could have happened. Celebrations that could have been done together. Jokes they could have had that Peter now has with his new friends. He sometimes thinks about how they could have been part of it. 

Not that he’s unhappy with his new friends. Peter loves them more than anything. They’re his family.

_But you'll feel better when you wake up_

_Swear to God I'll make up_

_Everything and more when I get back someday_

_This is more than just a phase, love_

_Shooting stars all break up_

_And even though it seems like half the world away_

A part of Peter screams that he shouldn’t be bothered by it anymore. That it happened months ago and it shouldn’t bother him as much as it does sometimes, but he just can’t help it. Late at night, Peter’s brain works on overdrive, and he can’t help but cry over the people he’s lost. 

He supposes that it bothers him so much because he still doesn’t know what he did to make her hate him so much that she’d use a flimsy excuse to not talk to him anymore. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened either. Someone close to him went through something similar, but that isn’t Peter’s story to tell. 

  
  


_Things will be better in America_

_Heard the streets are gold there_

_Maybe I can fly you out this place someday_

_Chasing dreams like I'm on Novocain_

_Screaming through your airways_

Peter has new friends, people who care about him and will tell him if he does something wrong. He loves them. They’re his family. 

When he gets in those moods, he looks through their messages too. They bring a smile to his face despite how his heart cracks from the pain of abandonment yet again.

  
  


_Looking back, I almost thought I heard you say_

_Stay, you're not gonna leave me_

_This place is right where you need to be_

_And why your words gotta mean so much to them_

_And they mean nothing to me?_

He still doesn’t understand what changed between him, MJ, and Harley. Sure, the fallout with Harley was inevitable, but there were so many ways things could have gone differently. They could have tried to stay friends after, but instead, Harley decided to become hostile towards him. 

  
  


_So stay, you're not what you're hearing_

_'Cause I've been watching you changing_

_And who said you're one in a million_

_Anyway?_

He wonders what Harley said to MJ to make her hate him. Or did he not even have to say anything? Did she hate him all this time and just needed an excuse to finally throw him away in favor of someone who wasn’t a waste of space? 

Did she ever even consider him a friend? Were all of the casual jokes and gestures towards each other all lies? All of those platonic ‘I love you’s. Were those lies? Was MJ on the other side of the screen glaring at the screen, at his name and his very existence? Did all the DM’s mean nothing? All those times he’s tried to be there for her? Did she ever even care?

_'Cause you see only what you want to_

_Your tunnel vision haunts you_

_And you can't see what's wrong_

_And you keep sleeping through the PM_

Almost like routine, Peter will forget about it later. He’ll cry, then sleep, and be over it by the time he wakes up the next day. He’ll keep the memories on his phone, which then keeps them both in his life despite Peter’s assurance to everyone that he’s over it, that all feelings he has left towards them are anger. 

He’d be lying to himself if he said a part of him still doesn’t care if they’re ok. If Harley is taking care of his own mental health, MJ too. Is MJ still writing? Is Harley still drawing? How is their personal life? School? Peter can’t even hate the part of him that still cares because he just can’t help himself to care. 

_Eyes wide open when you're dreaming_

_You're sleepwalking, just keep talking_

_And maybe you can talk your way out of this deep end_

_No B plan in your system_

Peter sucks in a breath. He should just do it. Get rid of the screenshots. Unfriend them both. Unfollow their unused social media. This isn’t healthy and he knows it. He can’t move on if he keeps doing this to himself, only to complain to people who just want to be over it. 

He starts with the photos. They’re all in one album. It’s easy enough.

Next, he unfriends them. That took a bit more willpower.

Unfollowed.

Forgotten. 

He can do this.

_Just tell me what you're thinking_

_I'm scared that you might fall_

_But you're not_

_But you're not_

This is the first step to moving on. To really truly moving on. 

Peter has better friends now. They aren’t worth his time anymore. Not when they still affect him like this, after all this time. 

_And you'll feel better when you wake up_

_Taking off your makeup_

_Sun always seems to wash our fears away_

_And it's always shining somewhere_

_I just gotta get there_

_And even though it seems like half the world away_

Peter takes a deep inhale.

He’ll be ok. He’ll see Ned tomorrow, and Harry, and Wade. He’ll talk to his Dad too. He’ll act as if nothing happened. As if he wasn’t still mourning the loss of two people leaving his life. 

He goes to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Wake Up by EDEN


End file.
